I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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