Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Fuck appropriateness.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
