Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
