; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
barbara walters just said penis...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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