At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
