OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my poor anus
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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