Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
