It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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