weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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