I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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