She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
