I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bring me that man meat
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
