he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
