wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
