The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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