There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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