At least make sure they are 18
Why
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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