Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize