all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
