We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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