The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
