I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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