just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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