I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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