covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
