i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
