Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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