Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
