i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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