weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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