last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize