I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
