I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
