I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
