Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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