it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
