I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
