I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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