New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
