just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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