Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
