we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We smell like vodka and hangover
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