Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
