I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
