I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
