she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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