So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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