So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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