ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
only if we run a train.
done.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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