Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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