I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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