You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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