good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
