i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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