Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
