you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
