I am puke
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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