i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
