In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
