im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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