New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
