I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How does it feel to date your dad?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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